Take Me Home
by kitty-ray
Summary: When an alien crash lands on Earth, Keith and Pidge are immediately on it. Unfortunately, so is the Garrison, and they will stop at nothing to keep it all under wraps. (Reluctantly) teaming up with Lance and Hunk, can this team keep Allura hidden from everyone? Or will it all crash around them, and they'll disappear off the face of the planet? (Crossposted on AO3 and tumblr) Klance


**Kitty: Hey look another au that i'm never gonna finish haha i'm lazy.**

 **(Kitty doesn't own Voltron but she does own her own characters.)**

* * *

Westlock Grove was situated on the East Coast where absolutely _no_ earthquakes could happen. (Or maybe they did, and no one ever bothered to notice them.) So it made sense for the whole town to freak out when one was strong enough to shake their houses. Police sirens wailed, fire trucks were racing, ambulances were called because of accidents and whatnot… The whole street came out to find out what was going on. Did something happen bad happen at the quarry? Had a bomb gone off? Was that why there was smoke in the sky?

Pidge and Keith knew. Oh boy, did they know. Pidge saw it happen through the telescope her brother got her years ago and immediately went to find Keith. She ran to his house as fast as her little (not short, just little thank you very much) legs could carry her, pounding on the door when she arrived. Shiro answered, eyes wide. "Pidge? Is everything okay? Did something-?"

"Sorry, not now, Shiro. I'll explain later," she said as she made a beeline for the basement door, stopping briefly at the top. "Bedroom or…?"

Shiro shrugged. "Beats me. I'm not his fucking babysitter."

Deciding to take her chances, she swung the door open and bounded down the stairs, yelling Keith's name the whole way down. She loved that Keith lived in the basement; he practically got the whole thing to himself. It made it easier for them to discuss their theories and research, especially since Mr. Friedman and Shiro like to butt their heads into everything. She turned on the light as soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs, Keith yelling as she did. His head popped up. "Pidge! What the fuck!"

"You have to see this." She walked around the couch and tugged on his arm. "C'mon."

"What? No, I'm not gettin' up. You're just gunna hafta bring it here."

Keith, unfortunately, was raised in the South. Not south like the direction, but The South as in sweet tea (an abomination that you can only get at McDonald's _where it should stay)_ and sweltering humidity. He had mostly grown out of his accent, but every now and then it slipped out. Especially when he's tired, which had practically been all of junior year.

She tugged harder. "No, Keith, you gotta come! I can't bring it here!"

The teen groaned and adjusted so he was back-to-back to the cushion. "What is?" he asked, exasperation creeping in. She grinned and dropped his hand. "I think an alien just crashed onto Earth."

Keith's eyes widened. "What." He pushed himself forward and leaned on his knees. "Explain."

"Okay, so I was using E.M.A., right? Well, as I was gazing at the stars and trying to find something, she just started to crazy, and I'm suddenly seeing this asteroid crashing down, then earthquake happened." She pulled out E.M.A. and showed him. Sure enough, everything was off the charts, and some areas just read 'ERROR'. Keith grabbed her as she continued. "I don't think it was asteroid, Keith." She pointed to the screen. "I think an alien landed here, in Westlock, and I think we can find it."

He stared at E.M.A. for a while, and Pidge was beginning to think he was going to back out before he said, "Let me put some pants on."

So that was how they ended here, in the forest at 11:30-something on a Thursday night when Pidge knew damn well that she had a Chem test first period. It was strangely silent. Then again, half the damn forest was asleep. She sighed and held E.M.A. up higher. "It's around here somewhere. I just know it."

"Could it be there?" Keith shined his flashlight towards the cloud of smoke billowing into the clouds. Grinning, she started to run towards it, Keith yelling for her to wait up. _C'mon, Keith,_ she thought, _you're the captain of the track team for a reason._

Eventually, the sudden burst of exercise got to her, and she slowed down near a cliff to catch her breath. She hoped it wasn't not too much farther; she didn't know how much longer she could walk. Taking another step forward, she breathed in and-

-that was _not_ a cliff. With a yelp she slid down. The flashlight fell out of her hand some point. She heard it hit something solid before her body slammed into a rock-hard. Groaning, she felt around for the flashlight, yelling up to Keith. "Be careful where you-!"

She heard an _oomph_ before the pain spread in her nose. "Ow, fuck, Keith!"

"Sorry…"

"Yeah, real sorry. Next time, watch where you fucking step instead of following me blindly down a-"

"Pidge."

"No, hold on I'm not done-"

"Pidge."

"Stop interrupting-"

"PIDGE."

"WHAT."

He shined his flashlight to the 'rock' in front of them, the light glaring off of it. Buried into the ground was… well, Pidge wasn't really sure _what_ it was. It easily stood ten feet tall, and that was with the tip of it currently wedge so far deep that she wasn't sure if she could get it out. The wings made it look like a U.S. fighter plane, but the whole thing looked way more high tech. Like crazy high tech. Like if anyone on Earth tried to build one, they'd be revered as a fucking god. She grinned. "I told you there were aliens."

Keith popped his neck and stood up. "Alright, let's get this thing back to my place. Hopefully it won't wake up while we're moving."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there, don't move another inch!" A bright light blinded her as someone else slid down the slope. They moved it away from her eyes, and she could barely see the outline of an annoying boy. He pointed at them. "This is _our_ alien, and you have no right to it!"

Keith scoffed. "Oh, and you do?"

"Yes! Me and Hunk found this fair and square! Hunk, you beautiful, gorgeous genius, come show them!" The boy-Pidge was pretty sure it was Lance from her Latin class-turned to another, more rounder one. He stayed above the crater and held some weird device in his hands. "It's a fraunhofer line. This ship created weird ones-ones I haven't seen before!"

Lance turned back to them, arms crossed and face smug. "See? It's ours. We found the energy, so we get to keep it."

"No way, Lance. I found it using E.M.A.. This is _my_ alien!" Pidge tried to not sound like a child, but stomping her feet didn't really help. She flung her hand out towards the ship."What are you even gonna do with it? Give it to the government for money? Make it take you to _their_ leader?"

He stayed quiet. His lips were pressed into a thin line as he looked at the ship. Slowly, he raised his hand towards the glass and rested it gently. "I dunno, maybe. I didn't really think that far ahead." His eyes met hers before glaring at Keith. "I just knew I had to beat _him_ here."

Keith swung his light towards him. Growling, Pidge swiped her hand over her eyes. _Of course_ it was about that stupid rivalry. A rivalry Keith didn't even know existed. (But that, of course, was mainly because Keith thought the other was hot. Not that Lance knew. Or Keith himself. Hell, she was pretty sure that she'd have to smak them so they would know just how gay these two dorks were.) Behind her, Keith stepped closed. "Me? I've never met you in my life." (A lie.)

Lance reeled back, his hand going to his heart. " _What?_ We have like three classes together! You know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck? Top of the class? Rivals?"

"Never heard of ya."

Before Lance could let out (another) hideous gasp, the ship started to sizzle. He removed his hand with a yelp. She didn't have time to process before Lance wrapped his arms around Pidge's waist and all three were running up the crater to Hunk just as the glass disappeared. She waited with bated breath for something, anything, to walk out of there, but nothing did. No bug-eyed aliens, no demon creatures or predators or anything. She cursed. "The one fucking time…"

And then, something fell out. Something beautiful. Like really beautiful. Like holy shit, she thought Keith and Lance were gay, but hot damn she was the raging homosexual right now. The alien was pretty-supernova hot-with gorgeous white hair and brown skin. She gracefully fell out of the ship before landing on the ground (not so gracefully). Pidge just stared at the pretty alien. The universe was too kind. Too, too kind.

Apparently, Pidge wasn't the only one who thought the alien was banging.

"Holy wow." Lance whistled. "She's prettier than any girl I've ever seen." He handed Pidge to Hunk. "Be right back. Time to get some alien booty."

Ignoring their protests, Lance made his way to the pretty alien, the smirk never leaving his face. He picker her (her?) up gently, and holy shit her face was even prettier than she thought. Two pink lines under her eyes, a very human-looking face, and long pointy ears. And when she opened her eyes? Boy, Pidge was weak. She watched as the alien slowly raised her head towards Lance, her sleepy face slowly morphing into confusion as he kept "flirting". Her nose scrunched up as she reached for one of his ears. She grabbed it, twisted him around, and made him kneel. "Vem är du? Vad gör du här?" She looked around. "Var är jag?"

Keith groaned and made his way down to meet the two. "Good going, Lance. Now she's probably gonna kill us."

The alien eased up a little, but she still didn't let go of Lance. Her gaze swept over them. "Humans? Are you _all_ humans?" She looked down and tugged. "That would explain the ears."

"Hey! My ears are quite normal! They may be a little big, but still-ow, ow, ow! Okay, okay, I'll stop talking just let _go!"_ Lance whined as she twisted harder, and Pidge tried to hold in her laughter.

Tearing herself from Hunk, Pidge adjusted her bag and joined the boys. Her grin stretched wider. "Where do you come from? What's your name? Have you been to Earth before? I wouldn't blame you if you purposely avoid us. We're terrible." She stood on her toes, her flashlight shining on the ship. "Did you fly this here? How do you fly it? What's its main source of energy? Can you-?"

"Uh, guys!" Hunk's voice interrupted her. He pointed towards the trees. "Yeah, talking to an alien is nice and all, but I think we're gonna have some company, and I don't think they're friendly."

Sure enough, beams of lights and new voices joined the fray, making panic rise in her throat. The Garrison. If they came here for the same reason they did, then they were by no means going to be friendly. Pidge bounced on her heels as she thought of plan.

"Lance, give her your jacket and pull up the hood," she said as she scrambled up the crater. Hunk looked as nervous as she felt, maybe more, so she didn't dare give him any instructions. Turning around, she waved her hand and yelled, "Hurry! I have a feeling they're not here to chat." Then, to Hunk, "I hope you brought your truck."

"There was no way I was going to walk with some slimy alien all the way to my house. I definitely brought my truck."

It took an eternity to reach the truck (especially with her little legs and two bickering idiots), but they made it. Pidge shoved the alien into the front with her, ignoring her protests. Hunk had opened the window to the back, which was not pleasant to Pidge's ears. The whole way she could hear Lance yelling. About halfway to the nearest McDonald's, she shut it. Boy, was it a mistake to put Keith in the back with him. She was already regretting it.

"Where are you taking me?" The alien piped up, breaking Pidge's thoughts. She pulled down the hood and looked at the two. "Why are you taking me away from my pod? I have to get back to the castle to get out of this galaxy!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You mean there's _another_ ship? Oh God, I'm gonna be sick." Hunk turned green. Pidge shook her head. "Hunk, no. You're driving." Sighing, she turned to the alien. "Sorry. We had to get out of there. Those guys back there are probably from the Garrison, and I seriously don't need another run in with them if I want to go to any decent college."

The alien blinked. "The… Garrison? College? What?" She rubbed her temples. "This doesn't make any sense. I should be in the castle with Coran working on the particle barrier, not stuck on some planet that doesn't even have the technology needed to transport us to the other side of the universe…" A sigh. "What would Father say?"

Tapping her fingers on her thighs, Pidge thinned her lips and looked out the back window. The boys finally stopped bickering, but they were on separate ends of the bed. She giggled. _Two rivals, chillin' in a truck bed, five feet apart because they're not gay. Haha, Keith missed that memo._

"Anyways, Pidge's right. We need a place to stay." Hunk said as he pulled over into a McDonald's. "Or at least, stash you until we can get your ship. Charlie won't be back until Tuesday with the trailer, so we just have to leave it there until then. Sorry…?"

"Allura. Princess Allura of Planet Altea. Well," her eyes shifted away from the two, "former princess. Altea is no more."

Silence washed over them, and Pidge was vaguely aware of Keith and Lance talking. Her entire planet was just… gone? That didn't sit well with her. Earth could easily be destroyed, and the only ones left to remember it would be aliens that most don't even know about.

A knocking interrupted her thoughts, and she turned around to see a pissed off Lance shoving his face into the window. "What's the plan?" he asked, voice muffled by the glass. Behind him, Keith jumped off the truck and walked into the restaurant. She watched him go in before opening. "Where's he-?"

"Bathroom. What're we doing? I doubt keeping a lovely alien at my house would be a good idea, and I sure as hell don't trust Keith enough to leave her at his." He turned to Allura and winked. "Though, you could always spend the night if you want."

"Ignore him, Allura. He's just a flirt."

"Duly noted."

Hunk locked his phone before speaking. "She could sleep in Charlie's room. I know Michelle and Amy won't mind." Hunk's moms were pretty much the coolest people Pidge ever had the pleasure of meeting, even if it was only once or twice. His brother on the other hand? Not so much. Take Lance and add him with a dense football player and a slug and you'd get Charlie. Not that Hunk's brother wasn't a cool person (he totally wasn't); it's just that he really can't handle a basic conversation about fruit. Or anything. If Pidge hadn't seen their birth certificates, she wouldn't believe they were biological brothers.

"Good with you, Pidge?"

She blinked and brought herself back to the present. Nodding she turned to Allura. "Hope you don't mind a smelly boy's room for a night or two. My parents banned girls from spending the night, and you don't want to go to Lance's or Keith's." She leaned in. "Weird families."

"Hey! Only _I_ get to call my family weird." Lance said as he poked her head. "But yeah, they're pretty weird."

Keith came back out, a large drink in one hand and a takeout bag in the other. He met her eyes and flicked her off, almost like he was saying _Fuck off, I'm hungry._

"I thought you had to piss," Lance said, eyeing the bag hungrily. Keith, being the little shit he was, stared him right in the eyes while shoving fries in his mouth. "I did."

He turned to the open window. "So what's the plan? Shiro's gonna be calling if I'm not home soon."

They filled him in as Hunk pulled out of the parking lot and Keith swatted Lance's hands away. He nodded, passing the Coke through the window to her. All seemed to be in agreement with the plan. Well, all but Allura.

"I want to go back to my ship," she told them, crossing her arms as she stared straight ahead. "Take me back to my ship. I must leave now."

"Sorry, princess, but those guys back there? They're no bueno if they're Garrison. Trust me. Keith and I had a run in with them a couple months back, and they were _not_ happy that we walked into their neck of the woods. We almost got arrested. Long story short, we won't be able to take you back for a couple days." She offered the princess an apologetic smile. "Sorry. But in the meantime, you can enjoy all the pizza you can eat."

Allura's brow furrowed. "What's a pizza?"

* * *

Michelle and Amy ended up not being home, meaning they could easily sneak in a 5'9" princess with weird elf ears and white hair. "Thank God we don't have to crawl through the window again," Lance sighed when they walked in. "I don't think I can shove you out a second time, bud."

Hunk just hummed in agreement.

Pidge was about to ask the princess more questions when she saw Keith. He looked odd in the corner, away from the rest of the group. It wasn't the first time he separated himself from others, but she was sure he'd be all over the alien. (They once spent hours discussing what questions they would ask when they finally met one. She thought he'd jump on it as soon as the opportunity came, so when he didn't immediately jump on it, she found it odd.) Sighing, she walked over.

"'Sup, you cryptid-loving fuck?" She leaned against the wall next to him and looked up. Normally, he'd respond. Why wasn't he responding? Curious, she followed his line of sight towards the other three. Hunk was begging Allura to _please don't eat that it's plastic and not edible OH MY GOD NO_ while Lance was trying to pry it from her hand. Allura took one bite of the styrofoam apple and spit it out on his shoes, causing Lance to shriek in unholiness. Pidge grinned. "Oh, so do you like Hunk? I don't blame you. He's got the truck that all you Texans love."

Keith stayed quiet, his cheeks turning pink. When he shook his head, Pidge blinked. "So… not Hunk? Then…" A gasp and a whispered, "Lance? Lance Reyes-McClain, as in class clown, as in the guy who literally hates you and only wants to beat you in everything?" Keith turned redder, and she gasped again. "You and your fucking trucks. This is _exactly_ how you started to like Conner."

He turned on her. "Okay, Conner is a fucking god in human form. Even you have admit that. And," he looked towards Lance, lips forming a small pout. "And I don't know. It's nothing. Probably just some silly thing that'll go away by like tomorrow. I'll go to sleep, and I'll forget about it, and that's it."

Pidge hummed and turned back to the group. If eleven years of friendship taught her anything it's that Keith did not forget about his crushes. No, he bottles them up, stuffs them under his bed, and lets them fester until he bursts. It usually didn't end well for him.

"If you're sure about that-"

"I am."

"Okay."

(He wasn't, and she knew it, but whatever.)

Hunk turned to them then, a big grin on his face. "Do you two need a ride home? I gotta give Lance one anyways."

Smirking, Pidge glanced at Keith before telling him that yes, they would like one, and no, she would not like to be crammed in the front seat again. They locked Allura in Charlie's room, making sure that all windows were locked as well, and climbed back into the truck. She met Keith's glare through the rearview and smirked wider.

He's going to hate her in the morning.

* * *

 **From: My Gaydar's Broken**

 _PIDGE_

 _PIDGE WHY_

 _YOU PIECE OF SHIT_

 _I GOT LANCE'S NUMBER BUT_

 _IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE HUNK GAVE IT TO ME_

 _DO YOU KNOW HOW DAMAGING THAT IS FOR A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD GAY BOY WITH A CRUSH ON A FUCKING IDIOT WHO HATES HIM?_

 _FUCK PIDGE WE GOTTA GO OVER AND SHIT. OR GO THE PIZZA SHACK. DO YOU WANT LUCNH LET'S GO GET SOME_

 _PIDGE_

 _PIDGE_

 _PIDGE_

 **To: My Gaydar's Broken**

 _I'M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP ASSHOLE IT'S EIGHT IN THE GD MONRING SHUT UP_

 **From: My Gaydar's Broken**

 _YOU DID THIS TO ME PIDGE. AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING OF THAT SMILE. FUCK I'M GAY. WHAT DO I DO_

 **To: My Gaydar's Broken**

 _Listen to me. There's this little thing called flirting where you try and make yourself desirable even if you have absolutely no good qualities about you. It's what Lance does. Be Lance Keith. Channel your inner Lance._

 **From: My Gaydar's Broken**

 _I hate every minute of this friendship_

 _Get dressed i'm outside_

She put her phone down and listened. Sure enough, a motorcycle rumbled in her driveway, and she briefly worried about his safety. "God if that idiot texted me on that death trap, I'm gonna fucking slap him so hard he'll think he's straight," she muttered as she rolled over to peer out of her window. "Fucking hell."

 **To: My Gaydar's Broken**

 _Come inside i gotta shower._

Not waiting for a response, she heaved herself out of bed and down the hall. Thank fuck Matt wasn't home this week or she'd have to wait for an hour to use the bathroom.

She just got into the shower when the door open and she heard Keith whine, "Piiiiiiiidge. How dare you do this to me." He slumped onto the toilet seat and groaned. "I bet he's straight, too."

The snort came without warning. "Please. I caught him flirting with Danny Ramirez last Friday. He got shot down, by the way. So yeah, boy's not straight. Can you hand me the shampoo? It's under the sink."

"I can't just ask him out. I'm not even sure I like him!" She heard him groan again. Washing her hair, Pidge peaked out to see him slumping against the sink. If her parents knew he was in there… Shrugging, she rinsed and said, "It doesn't hurt to talk to him. We can go by Hunk's house to see Allura if you'd like. I bet my bottom dollar that he's there."

Keith shook his head. "I just wanna curl into a ball and die."

"Oh, now you just sound like Shiro."

"No, Shiro would make a joke about it so it wouldn't sound so morbid." He looked up when she turned off the shower and handed her a towel. "I'm gonna go wait in your room."

Fifteen minutes later and they were on his bike, tearing through the neighborhood and down the back roads. Keith's motorcycle wasn't her favorite thing in the world, but Pidge would be damned if she said that she didn't feel like a fucking queen riding it. If he was going slow enough, she would gain enough confidence to let go of his waist and pretend that she was a bird. Or a superhero. Or mothman. (Except, she didn't have the wings, and she definitely wasn't a man.)

"Where to?" Keith shouted at a red light. She pointed straight and said, "Hunk's." And off they went.

* * *

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Lance demanded as he shut his car door. It instantly soured Keith's mood, and he tore off his helmet then practically slammed it onto his bike. (Like hell Pidge missed the way Lance's cheeks flushed. She may be blind to all romantic and sexual advances towards her, but she definitely knew when someone else had a crush.) Keith shoved his hands in his jacket and stalked towards the house. "We found the princess first. Only fair we get to speak to her too."

Lance glared before he turned on his heels and motioned for them to follow. "Fine. Whatever. Just don't get too mad when she doesn't want to see that ugly mullet of yours."

Pidge stifled a giggle as Keith muttered, "It's not a mullet…"

Hunk's house had always been the warmest place. His moms framed their whole lives on the walls, from the brothers' adoption to their Disney trips to Charlie's (miraculous) high school graduation. She could smell the pancakes baking from the kitchen, hear the TV playing some random romcom at a low volume, feel the warmth that only years of love could bring. It was a no-brainer how Hunk ended up being-well, Hunk. Smiling, Pidge followed Keith and Lance into the kitchen.

"So you're telling me," Allura said as she stared at Hunk's phone screen, "that you have several rulers, and for some reason, your… country?" She looked at him, and he nodded. "Your country nominated an orange man as your leader? But people don't… like him?"

"Yep. He's a bad, bad man."

She placed the phone down. "You humans are so weird. Why elect someone if you don't like him?"

"I've been asking that since day one!"

Lance sauntered over to the island and slid into the chair next to Allura. He picked up the phone, looking at it with little interest. "You told her about the government?"

"She wanted to know," Hunk shrugged and turned to the stove. "Hey, Keith and Pidge. One or two pancakes?"

Allura's brows scrunched as she asked, "What the quiznack is a pancake? Ugh, you silly humans. I will never understand you."

The front door slammed, and the whole kitchen froze, looking at Allura then at the entrance. Quickly, Lance grabbed Allura's hand and shoved her into the pantry, putting his finger to her mouth when she started to protest. Her eyes went cross-eyed as she stared at the finger and pursed her lips. Her face morphed into a scowl as Lance closed the pantry doors. He turned to the group and winked.

"Hunkster! Your big brother is home!" Charlie walked in with a grin and an empty beer bottle, one falling as he took in the kitchen. Hunk was slowly burning his hand on the stove. Keith had took a knife out and started to inspect it while humming his approval. Lance found his way back to the island and leaned across it, giving Charlie a toothy grin. And Pidge? Pidge was stuffing her mouth with the grapes she was 99.9% certain the Garretts didn't wash after buyin. The older man glanced around the room. "I many only know two of you, but I definitely know that whatever you're up to, I don't want in."

He turned to leave, but Hunk called him back. "Can we borrow your trailer for like a night or two?"

"My what?" Charlie's brow furrowed before he shook his head. "No. No fucking way. Last time you did, we had to pay for that woman's new paint job."

"Please, Charlie! We're only taking it to the forest then bringing it right back here. You can even drive if you want! Please, please, please-!"

Charlie whipped around and placed his hand on Hunk's mouth. Hunk was taller-and bulkier-but that didn't stop him. "Did you say the forest?" Hunk nodded. Taking his hand away, the older brother shook his head. "Didn't you hear? The forest was quarantined this morning. Nothing's getting in, and nothing's getting out."

They all moaned. Of course the Garrison already closed it off. Those assholes were willing to erase everything alien off the face of the planet. Pidge looked towards the pantry and sent a silent apology to Allura.

"But," Charlie continued. She didn't like the way he grinned. "I can still get you in."


End file.
